Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Breaking promises...

I promised myself that I wouldn't get personal on here, but maybe it's just the season?  I've been single for 7 months now.  Most people would just say, "yeah? so what, I've been single for I dont know how long..."  WELL, just so everyone who reads this knows, this has been the longest I've been single since I was somewhere in high school - like 15 years old.  That's TEN years.  It was a lot of time committed to two different guys who are now with other people.  One is married and has an adorable little kid.  I'm actually really pumped for him.  Through this last breakup with guy number two, I realized how happy I am for guy number one to be with who he's with.  Sounds weird right?  :)  I don't have too much to comment on guy number 2.  He was great, it was great while it lasted, but it went on for longer than it should have, and I'm still in the healing process of that.  I wasn't treated great for about the last 9 months to a year of the relationship... not going to say that terrible actions didn't go both ways, but some things shouldn't have been said.  Some things shouldn't have been carried out.  Although, thinking about the comparison, guy number 1 didn't end so swell either, but I'm still happy for him.

All this time "alone" has made me do a lot of thinking.  Guy number 2 wanted to be single and figure himself out and learn to depend on himself.  I suppose he accomplished this very quickly since he was in another relationship within 3-4 months.  That news I think destroyed me a little more than the breakup itself.  Guy number 2 told me I should really find myself.  I wasn't aware that I had lost myself.  I really felt at the time like I knew who I was.  I liked to knit, I liked to craft.  I love making people laugh, and I love childish things.  I know these things about me.  So what does it mean to find oneself.  Or to know oneself.  Do I have to take one of those quizzes I'd find in Cosmo girl back in Junior High?  Would really knowing what lipstick color I'd wear solve all of these problems?  I mean, 9 times out of 10 I already knew what my outcome will be.  But where's the magazine with my future in it so I can take the quiz of which hot guy will I end up with and give me three choices at the end where I already know the answer?  But why am I always so consumed with wanting to be with the opposite sex?  Is that the point I'm suppose to learn from guy number 2?  Who is he to give me a life lesson?  At this point my friends would question why I keep bringing up guy number 2.  I ask myself that too.  As much as I don't want to admit it.  I learned something from guy number 2.  I learned that I don't have to be in a relationship to go see the new movie.  I can buy my own ticket and my own popcorn.  I can take myself to the local pizza joint and eat my spaghetti with 1-2 meatballs.  And I can do it all on my own.  No one else around.  I've really taken in what it's like to be single in my adult life.  Partly because I am single in my adult life, and partly because I rise to the challenge of, "What can I do today by myself?"

But then it still comes down to, why am I consumed with wanting to be with someone?  I think the answer is simple.  I'm a loving person, and I just want someone to love.  I daydream the same scenario with the guy of the moment all the time.  And the outcome is always the same.  I'm just in love with ___________.  In love with the idea of being in love.  Is that so wrong though?  I don't think so.  Who would want to be the opposite?  What is that?  In love with the idea of not being in love?  In hate of the idea of being in love?  Can't be 'in hate of not being in love' - that is technically the same.  Although, I know people who are resilient of the idea.  I believe that being in love in the past, knowing that feeling, just makes me want it again.  I try not to fear it.  And as much as I really do enjoy my time alone, and not needing to coordinate or "report" to someone, I look forward to spending my lazy days with Mr. Wonderful.  And maybe guy number 3? ;)

Once Christmas happens I plan on posting my Christmas gifts.  That I made of course. :)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I miss knitting

I've been so busy working on other things this weekend, and a lot throughout the week that I haven't had the time to work on my brother in law's celtic hat.  I've been having some issues with it, but hopefully I'm past all of that and it'll be smooth sailing.  This is my first double knit project.  Even with the difficulties I've had with the chart - I didn't cast on enough stitches apparently - I really like how it feels and the way it looks.  I plan on doing a lot of it in the future.  I was reminded today that I only have 34 days left before Christmas.  That leaves me 34 days to finish this hat, my brother's crochet hat, my sister in law's felted mohawk hat, and my mom's snowman cabled mittens.  Not to mention if I have time, a cabled hat for my sister.   I love Christmas knitting for others, but I always have so many projects I want to make for myself.  I'm a bit selfish when it comes to crafting I think.

I did manage to make some things before the midnight release of Harry Potter.  Along with my sweet sweater, I made some golden snitch earrings and a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean Bag.  I  plan on making a similar bag for M&M's. :)

My Bertie Bott's Bag was knit in the round, and I made a bottom piece in the round, and stitched it together (like it became a thick circle) Then I picked up so many stitches and knitted up about 9 inches and created 6 button holes, then stitched another 4 rows and binded off.  Then I embroidered the Bertie Bott's and added the liner and my tag that reads, "Handmade with love by Robin" :)  THEN I added jelly beans and ate them like crazy during a scary intense scene with a snake during HP7. :)

I made TWO mad eye moody eyes.  One is much larger.  The larger one was the first one I made, which i why I made a second not so humungus one. :)  Everyone at the theater liked them.  I heard them whispering, "OMG she knitted that!"

Don't think anyone noticed my golden snitch earrings but I love them.  They took no time at all to make. :)

This is my phallic looking lightsaber chap stick coozie/holder.   The lightsaber part glows - it's suppose to be blue but the picture turned out brighter.  Now I will always have my chapstick on hand.  This is excellent with winter coming. :)

It's time to retire and work on the Celtic hat some more.  Much love to you all!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Busy Busy Busy

I've been really busy with a bunch of knitting, but I did finish my harry potter sweater last month, and I also finished Julie's.  Now she's all married, and living far far away.  Since it's November, my Christmas knitting/gift making is well under way.  I just finished a hat, which I think looks great.

It's really more of a teal blueish color.  But, I'm proud, just a simple CO of 90 stitches, knit in the round, 1X1 rib for about 3 inches, then I just stockinette stitched for about 7-8 inches, and then decreased starting every 9 stitches, bring it in one more stitch each time to make the pretty swirl decrease.  This hat did take entirely too long to finish.  I dawdled a lot when I was making it, and sometimes only gave it 20 minutes of my time in the day.

Also I was Strawberry Shortcake for Halloween.

Made my costume from scratch and finished it within 4 Harry Potters - roughly 8 hours.  I think the hat is my favorite part. :)  I originally knitted a hat that I intended to be slouchy but it didn't end up that way because I didn't continue to increase... my bad.  but it's still really cute.

This was my first no pattern cable project.  I think it turned out really good.  The top twirls too...

While I'm sharing pictures of my finished projects, here's the Harry Potter sweaters.  I'm on the right if you couldn't tell with the big R on my sweater :)  I'm really excited for HP7.  Going to go see it at midnight in IMAX.

Also, another time stealer that's developed, is I've started taking bellydancing classes.  It's a lot of fun, and it's helped me lose 20 pounds and counting.  I would like to be down 35 pounds by New Years, but I'm proud of whatever I get.  Being 20 pounds lighter feels great and my tight jeans, are loose now.  Makes me feel a little more confident in my single life too.  Which, to comment lightly on that, I've gone on a couple of dates... and that's where it ends. :)  Nice guys, I just don't think we had enough in common.  But, I'm not fretting.  I have faith that things are about to change soon for me.  Maybe even right before the New Year...

I look forward to posting more pictures soon of my christmas gifts!  And I should probably make more effort in getting my website finished so I can launch it.  I guess that's just another one of those things that gets me down a little.  No need to go into detail, but I'll have to get a new web address, which stinks but I'm sure it'll work out for the better in the end like everything else in life.  I also apparently need to buy a mirror - instead of waiting on the one I currently own to arrive to me.  Because it's never going to happen.  Unfortunate really.

OH also, I've started the "Watch every Disney Animated great in chronological order challenge"  I'll update my notes when I finish the challenge - so far I've finished the first five.  

Computer is about to die, and I should have been sleeping long ago.  Oh reminder - update crazy nightmares.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

First cabled project

I made my first cabled project, now I feel like I can do and make anything :)  I used the owl chart from Kate Davies' 'owls'  Which I feel I should state isn't a free pattern on ravelry, yet I have a printout of it, so at one time it must have been free because I don't think I paid for it.  I win!  Although, I do know that there's an updated version of that pattern, which I would have to pay for, but I'm sure I could figure out the sweater pattern if I wanted to just by looking at her pattern and using my own knowledge.

I'm really proud of it.  And I renamed the cozy to be the koolzie.  :)  because I'm a nerd.  I think I'm going to go buy some pop cans so I can use my new koolzie.  I think I'll add this to the list of things I'd like to make and sell through etsy.  I'd sell this one for probably $5.  My objective or goal with becoming a seller on etsy, is I want to make lots of cool things, and sell them at decent reasonable prices.  I've seen people list coozies for like $12 each.  That's stupid. I realize etsy takes a percentage of your profits, and paypal takes a percentage too, but that's no reason to mark up your prices.  The highest I'd go with the owl would be $8, but that seems like a lot for a koolzie. :)

I also hope to make some sackboys from PS3's Little Big Planet, some fingerstaches, maybe another darth vader hat?  So far I realize everything is knitted... but I have a lot of yarn. :)

Hopefully today I have enough iron in my blood to donate, if not, maybe in another 4 weeks?

Monday, August 30, 2010

The New Empire

I hope to one day, re-meet the guy with the sign that read, "The New Empire" from the Columbus Crew game from last week.  Angie and I went this past Saturday for some more crew brew and awesome Mexican/Hispanic people, and as an added bonus, we were hoping to see "star wars guy" but we didn't. :)

Today, I sincerely offered to make something for a friend, and they basically told me that I wouldn't ever make it.  How mean is that?  It's a simple craft too, something I've done before and quickly.  Now I'm stuck in a weird, do I make it and lose or do I not make it and lose?  Either way, now I feel like I lose.  Good thing I'm distancing myself from 'friends' like this.  I've really been enjoying the messages I've been hearing at church lately and I think it's changing my mind on how to handle things like this.  My new reaction, is just to take a deep breath, smile, and know that deep down, issues like this just don't matter in the long run.  Live by example.  As far as me making this craft or not, I don't know.  On the fence.  I know what my friends would say, "Umm, don't you dare make anything for that mean mean jerk of a person."  Although, I feel it should be stated, they would use more color in their statements. :)  People who are my friends btw are just great.  I feel like I owe them a lot after the year I've had and they've stuck by me.

Speaking of the year I've had, now that things are quite settled down and stable, it's time for a change. :)  I've been doing the same thing for 7 years and it isn't even related to my career field of choice.  It's a great job, I do truly love it, but I can't grow in it.  I can't retire from it.  It's becoming time to move on.  I already have a plan too, I'm going to finish up my website and get it up and running, and update my resume, then start the everlasting job hunt.  Even if I could find a job financially equal to the one I have now with the potential to grow, it'd be great.  A step in the right direction.  I've found that a lot in recent months I've very uncomfortable because I'm in the unknown of certain aspects of my life, but I was told that we can't grow until we're put in uncomfortable situations.  So, I'm all about growing. :)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Knitting is what I do

I've been doing a lot of knitting, I know surprise surprise.  I'm simultaneously working on 1 secret project, my harry potter sweater, and knitting an afghan.  On top of all of that I want to join the Knit-a-long that's going on at Ravelry to knit a lost afghan, also known as a lostghan.  They're already on week four, but I'm not concerned, I assume that I'll just knit up some squares and duplicate stitch onto them instead of doing what you do with washcloths which requires you to purl when you want an image to show up against your stockinette stitch.

I've been watching a lot of cartoons lately, I need to find Pinocchio so I can start watching the Disney classics of animation in chronological order.  Pinocchio is the 2nd movie I'd have to watch if you didn't know. :)

I started on the intarsia for the R for my Harry Potter Sweater:

I'm positive that it'll turn out great, if not, I'm taking it apart and doing it over, I've decided it's worth it to me to redo the R if I don't like it because it's too much work to make a sweater and not like it.

In other news, I went to the mystery murder dinner last night with some friends, and I was Melissa F Dupre, the mourning gold digging trampy widow.  I found these shoes at the thrift store and I managed to wear them more than 75% of the entire night.

They're hot pink!  And my new favorites.

I also made my first profit on a craft, not much, like 2 bucks :) BUT it was a mustache for a friend.  I had Hello Kitty model this one for me. :)

Gotta go find some black and gold, I'm going to my first Columbus Crew game tonight and I'm really excited. :)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Expect Great Things

This weekend was a blast.  Friday night started out with meeting up with two of my best buds, Angie, and Liz at a Mexican restaurant.  I feel like my decision on the LARGE margarita was a bad idea, it completely destroyed my life.  Nah, I vote it was a great decision.  Since I met up with them there, and was in NO shape to drive, I had no choice but go old fashion and we had a slumber party like the good ole days in high school where my mom picked me up in the morning.  It was excellent.  AND I can now proudly add "knitting while intoxicated" to my repertoire.  To finish out what I did for the rest of my weekend, went to Build a Bear and built a bear AND brought my own dress and sparkly headband to save money and a lady stopped me to ask where I found the headband. :)  She didn't seem pleased when I told her that I brought it from home.  I ate Yogoot for the first time, I approve.  Anything that is almost ice cream and lets me put fruity pebbles and cap n' crunch in it is amazing.  After all that activity and Chik-fil-a, I pretty much knitted the rest of the time.  Keeping up with my surprise christmas gift and knitting at a pace of 4 inches a day. :)  OH and mom and I went to the mall and found her a kickass dress for Julie's wedding and we went to Joann's and mom graciously bought me more yarn for my harry potter sweater. :)

I also have been obsessively adding patterns and favoriting ones I have to buy from Ravelry.

I found this pattern yesterday through ravelry but the pattern itself is on craftster which I admit, I haven't been able to figure out yet.  Maybe it's too forum heavy?  I too visual?

I think everyone should have a fingerstache.  I might take a whole day and knit a bunch of these and give to my friends for christmas.  I'm also thinking dishcloths might be in that mix.  Found a dishcloth I started I don't know how long ago.

Speaking of the mall I asked mom if Angie and I could knit or crochet red shawls for Julies wedding and she quickly said no.  I think she underestimates our crafting powers... :)

Thursday, August 5, 2010


I've had crazy vivid dreams that I tend to remember well my whole life.  For example, last night I had 2 separate dreams.  The first one, my life was being threatened by someone who was a bully to me starting in the 3rd grade and well through high school.  He kept coming by my parents house and leaving his weapons.  I assumed these were to harm me.  And I'm not talking like guns and knifes, he went old school and had the largest baseball bat I've ever seen.  Basically, it was like a whiffle ball ball but metal.  I'm pretty positive that it could smash my head in one blow.  So, I started hiding his stuff, in the trunk of my car and I kept locking the doors over and over and over but he kept unlocking them, and for about half the dream I never saw him but I knew it was him.  Then when I tried calling 911 and being put on hold or to try again later he showed up.  He tried yelling at me telling me he wasn't there to harm me and that he was just leaving his stuff there...?  I wasn't buying it.  Then he started to chase me around my house, then my long time friend Aaron H showed up in a very bright yellow t-shirt and just simply told this bully to leave me alone.  And he did.  It was very strange because I haven't seen Aaron in a couple of weeks and before then it was years.

My second dream of the night, I was pregnant, again.  I've had a pregnant dream just about every night this week.  This one I don't remember much other than images.  I think my baby finally had a father, some guy I don't think I've ever seen before.  Tall, muscular, sandy to dark colored hair.  I remember just feeling sad in this one.  Another dream I remember well from this past week, I went to a sperm bank and chose what the father was contributing.  It was weird, it was just all spelled out on the card what kind of child I'd have.  I chose to have a boy, and his father was also a redhead.  I told my parents what I did and my mom absolutely refused to talk to me.  She seemed mad at the fact that I was having a boy instead of a girl, or that I just knew right away and chose to have a boy.  When it came time to deliver my family didn't even care enough to want to take me to the hospital.  In all my dreams I never give birth.  I did tell mom about that dream and she said that isn't how she would be at all btw.  She said she'd be estatic for me.

The pregnant dreams just symbolize that my subconscious knows something new is coming. :)  I'm not sure about the first one, I suppose I'm fearing what's coming?  I fear the unknown?  I believe you can't grow as a person if you don't go outside your comfort zone though.  So bring on the unknown!

Angie and I had a very successful Pocahontas party the other night.  We built a fort with bed sheets and watched Pocahontas and ate sour gummi worms.  Before all that we made miniature funnel cakes.

In crafting news I'm about 3 inches away from finishing my first back of sweater ever, it took me about 2 weeks.  I'll probably finish it today and then start on the front.  I might take a break and knit something small I intend on giving away at christmas time.  I think as far as tonight goes though, definitely finish the last 3 inches and then I need to make a tremendous effort in finishing up a quilt so I can get it out of my room, it's not mine but I promised to fix it and I work a couple of hours on it here and there.  The owner's dogs chew it up or something, I can repair the simple rips all the way down, but I'm pretty sure there's an entire chunk missing out of a lower corner so I'll have to get creative with that.

Time to go ingest stupid amounts of iron so I can pass the iron test and donate blood today... :)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Starting a new beginning.

2010 has brought a lot of change my way.  At the time of change, it can feel bad, I know it did for me, but I've been learning to try to embrace change, and really look at life with rose colored over sized sunglasses.  This blog will be a lot of things, I would love to just focus on crafting, or just travelling, but life is more complex than just one subject.

Right after I turned 25, and moving my loving twin sister to Wyoming, I decided that I wanted to see and visit all 50 United States.  AND to make it more challenging, to do this before I'm thirty.  I have now officially been to 23 states, and I'm planning a trip for next fall by train to Boston, MA, then driving and visiting the surrounding six states to bring my total to 30 states at the tender age of 26.  I am VERY excited for this trip.

I'm an avid crafter.  My sewing machine is in a cabinet and is upright and ready to go at all times.  I inherited it from my cousin Patty, who was my mom's age until she passed away.  I do believe that the sewing machine was her mother's, my Great Aunt Faye, before she passed.

In High School, I bought a pair of salmon colored kitten mittens that looked like hand puppets.  I was really getting into the matchy match thing with my accessories and could not find a matching scarf or hat.  So I found yarn that didn't match either and learned to knit and made my first scarf that I still wear every winter.  I've been bit pretty hard by the knitting bug and have also learned to crochet.  I'm currently making my first sweater, which I think is the ultimate first sweater, a Weasley Sweater... Like the ones in Harry Potter that are knitted by Molly Weasley.

I've dabbled in scrap booking only a little and haven't really done any cross stitch.  I do a lot of quilting though, or at least in the past I have.

Crafting for me, isn't really a hobby or a lifestyle.  It's a time stealer with amazing therapeutic results.  Boyfriend breaks up with me?  Oh that's ok, I'll make 15 purses.  LOL.  True story.  I need to lose weight before Julie's wedding but I want to stress eat in front of the tv watching cartoons?  Oh that's ok, I'll just knit this foreverlongtomake sweater.  Crafting keeps me sane. And honestly, I think the world would be a better place if everyone would just man up and do a craft themselves. :)

I'm a hopeless romantic and everyday I wake up, I think, today is the day I will meet my soulmate.  Then when I go to bed I say, tomorrow is the day I will meet my soulmate. :)  I also wake up everyday thinking about what amazing thing I'll do that day will be.  I try to do something outstanding everyday, to make the day really have a great memory I can look back on.  I can't make memories just sitting around watching tv.  Starting this blog was my awesome thing today.  It'll get me more kick-started towards getting my website launched.  Hopefully that can happen in the next couple of days.